


In the Library

by Recreational_Potions



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Fade to Black, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, POV Severus Snape, Post-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Professor Hermione Granger, Professors, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24457927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Recreational_Potions/pseuds/Recreational_Potions
Summary: “Oh!” came a shout with a terribly familiar Scottish brogue. Severus and Hermione immediately separated, but the look on Minerva’s face made it clear she saw exactly what they were doing.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 111
Kudos: 553





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place about a year and a half after the end of the war. Rating is for fade to black (steam, not smut - sorry?). It will be three short chapters, about 9K words total. 
> 
> I do not own any of the characters, they belong to JK Rowling. I also may have paraphrased Trent Reznor at least once. If you spot it I will be seriously impressed.

The classroom door flew open with a bang, and Severus Snape swept inside. A quick Homenum Revelio confirmed the room was empty. He spun around in an angry blur of black robes and left the room, using his magic to pull the door shut behind him. He stalked down the dungeon corridor to the next room. This door, like the others before it, crashed open at his wandless, nonverbal command. This room, like the others, was empty. 

It was not the proper way to go about searching for the two Hufflepuff fifth years who snuck out after hours, but he was more focused on venting his irritation than finding anyone. And if they were hiding out in an empty room in the dungeons, and the noise scared the little dimwits, all the better. 

The non-appearance of the two boys after dinner probably would have gone unnoticed, but it was the winter holiday and most students were away from the castle. At least one who remained was either upset or bored enough to tattle on their two housemates. The staff was forced to proceed as if the students were injured or in danger until they were found, but Severus was sure the boys were up to some mischief when they thought no one would notice their absence.

As he banged the door open on yet another empty room, Severus knew he really wasn't in a position to judge, given what he was doing - and who with - when the Headmistress found him in the library not twenty minutes earlier. Of course, no one was supposed to be in the library that late. But he was a Professor, not some besotted teenager. How many times had he caught students doing the same thing? It was practically a hobby. He knew better. This search was only a temporary reprieve from having to face Minerva and formally explain himself, and he had no idea what the hell he was going to say.

"Ah, Severus!" came the voice of Professor Flitwick, accompanied by the small man's rapid steps to catch up. "Minerva asked me to let you know we found the missing students. It seems Mr. Collins decided to transfigure himself to be permanently taller, and was a bit too successful. Mr. Andrews was attempting to undo the damage, but he only managed to shorten Mr. Collins’ arms. He's in the hospital wing. You should have a look, it’s really quite the sight." 

"Very well. Thank you Fillius," Severus said with a nod, turning to escape back to his room. 

"Oh, I’m forgetting - the Headmistress asked to see you in her office. She said to wait for her and she'll be along as soon as she is done."

Severus felt his stomach sink. He had really hoped to avoid talking about what happened in the library - forever, preferably - but at least tonight. He had too much to think about after everything that was said before Minerva stumbled onto them. He couldn’t focus on figuring out what to say to Minerva, when the person he really needed to see was Professor Granger. 

The walk to Minerva's office took him close to the Arithmancy classroom, and he was disappointed to find it empty. Hermione Granger spent the previous school year, the first after the war ended, preparing to take her N.E.W.T.s and doing an internship with Septima Vector. At the end of the year, perhaps feeling she'd found a worthy replacement, Vector gave her notice. After a perfunctory search over the summer, Hermione was selected for the position of Arithmancy Professor. At a few weeks shy of twenty, she was the youngest person ever to become a full professor at Hogwarts. The previous record holder was Severus, who became a professor at twenty one. 

If she wasn't in her classroom, did that mean she was sent to Minerva's office as well? _Sodding hell, this just keeps getting better._

He shut the classroom door and continued to the Headmistress's office. When he arrived it was empty - at least of anyone living. The damn portraits were there - a few sleeping, most studying him with interest. 

“Good evening, Headmaster,” said Phineas Nigellus, the title he insisted on using ever since Severus held the post. Severus only glared at him, too annoyed with the whole situation to once again correct a bloody painting. 

He hated being back in this room. It was where he spent so many awful hours during his year as Headmaster. It hadn't even been two years, but it seemed like a lifetime had passed since then. Initially, Severus sat in a chair in front of Minerva’s desk, but that put him opposite the worst portrait of all. Dumbledore appeared to be sleeping, but Severus still didn't like looking at it. He got up and started pacing between the fire and the large lake window, a familiar path. As the minutes ticked by, he started to think Minerva left him alone there intentionally, just to torture him. 

Severus knew it really shouldn’t get to him. He'd experienced far worse than a chastisement from Minerva McGonagall. So why did it bother him so much? Perhaps because it was embarrassingly ordinary? _No_ , he thought, _this would be ordinary for a couple of infatuated Ravenclaws - not two professors._ He realized that it really bothered him because getting caught was not something Severus Snape did, _ever_. And far more importantly, it bothered him because all of this was an absurd distraction when he really needed to talk to Hermione - if he could figure out what in Merlin’s name to say to her. 

As the minutes ticked by and he paced the floor, Severus found himself thinking back on the events that led up that night. He had no idea how this was going to end, but he knew exactly how it started.

* * *

The first time was a cliche. It was the summer after Hermione finished her N.E.W.T.s. They were at Grimmauld Place, and Potter had just formally announced his inevitable engagement to Ginevra Weasley. Severus was only there because it started as an Order meeting. He was only drinking with the others because the old house had some terribly good elvish wine, and he was certain Sirius Black would have hated the idea of Severus Snape drinking it. 

Rather than engaging in the loud recounts of bravery or childhood embarrassment from various members of the Weasley family, Hermione started asking Severus about extension charms and their effect on potion ingredients. It turned into an in-depth conversation that belied the drunken revelry taking place around them. When the Weasley story telling devolved into loud singing, conversation became impossible. Severus and Hermione took their drinks and slipped out to continue their conversation in the library. 

Potter must have put a refilling charm on the wine glasses he gave to his guests. As Severus and Hermione discussed different classes of ingredients and the inferior quality of Hogwarts' textbooks, they both lost track of how much wine they were consuming. In retrospect, he kept drinking because being alone with her made him slightly nervous. Perhaps she had the same problem.

They drifted from textbooks to the wizarding world's complete lack of understanding of Muggle history. Her cheeks had grown quite pink, and he knew he was talking louder than usual. They were sitting in armchairs in front of the library fireplace, their endless drinks on a table between them. She jumped up, excited to show him a ridiculously error ridden text from the Black shelves. As she retrieved the book, it was oddly endearing to watch her struggle with the complexity of walking. She sat on the arm of his chair instead of back in her own, so she could point out the most absurd passages.

In his wine muddled state, he took the book and began reading aloud from the section on Muggle transportation. "Muggle autos are powered by small rectangular boxes called _'ate-racks'_ , which are inserted into an opening next to the steering circle," he read, causing the witch on the arm of his chair to erupt into giggles.

As he read on, the wine also encouraged him to take on an affected, pureblood accent, and Hermione's giggles increased until she was nearly in tears. It was terribly contagious, and Severus found himself smiling for the first time in an eternity. 

"Some autos include harnesses attached to the seats. This is because passengers may become frightened at high speeds and must be secured to prevent them from escaping....Infants and pets are placed in a drawer across from the front seat. Elderly, or otherwise infirm adults, are locked in a large box at the back-"

"No!" she cut in, setting her drink back down with a little too much force. "It does not say that, you're making things up! I've read that page and I'd remember."

"I did not," he responded, quickly flipping to a different page. "Your memory has simply failed you."

"Where? Show me."

He glanced at the book, feigning innocence. "Oh look, I've lost the page."

"Give it to me, I'll find it," she demanded, reaching for the book, her hand sliding over his as she took it from his grasp.

He let her flip and search the pages for a moment before he confessed. "Alright, I may have made up the part about shoving grandma in the boot, but babies in glove compartments was definitely in there."

Hermione narrowed her eyes and glared, closing the book with a snap. Then she thought for a moment, shaking her head. "They really don't know about car seats? Every child rides in them, how could the author miss that entirely?"

"This book was written in the 60s, Miss Granger, they didn't have car seats then," he said as he retrieved his glass of wine from the table.

"What? Really? But how did they move small children?"

"You put them in the glove-"

"Oh stop," - she gave him a harmless swat on the arm - "you did no such thing!"

"Fine. You carried them, in your lap." 

She looked horrified. "God that's even more frightening." She watched the fire, thinking for a moment. "Maybe they should have used the glovebox."

Hermione looked so serious when she said it that Severus actually laughed.

Her look of concern turned into a wide grin. "Wow, I don't think I've ever heard you laugh before."

"You haven't seen me grade papers then."

She sighed, still grinning at him. "I'd argue but I spent a lot of time grading Arithmancy papers last year - although those just made me want to cry."

"I would think you'd be accustomed to it after revising your friends' assignments."

"I didn't-"

"Of course you did," he interrupted. "I could always tell when you'd been in there."

She gave him a small shrug of admission. "And did my papers make you laugh?"

"No, I was too busy weeping over how excessively long they were."

"They were not excessive, they were _thorough_."

"They were swotty and pedantic."

She huffed and narrowed her eyes. "The word pedantic _is_ pedantic."

He shook his head. "That doesn't even make sense."

"It makes plenty of sense," she insisted, setting the book on the side table.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"It...it definitely does...I just don't remember what we were talking about."

He gave her a half smile and finished his drink. He held up the glass and they both watched it refill.

The pause gave Severus a moment of clarity - when had she slid into his lap? How did he get his arm around her without realizing? Apparently she was experiencing the same thing, because an awkward silence descended as they both avoided eye contact. Severus set the cursed glass down next to hers on the side table. He moved, intending to sit up and guide her off his lap, but the damned wine decided he actually meant to pull his arm tighter around her waist. The wine must have offered her even worse suggestions, because she moved her hand to his chest and curled her fingers in the material of his frock coat. They stared at each other, frozen for one long moment, before his eyes flicked to her lips. Perhaps she was thinking the same thing, because that’s when she kissed him. 

It was like the moment an ingredient is added to a potion that entirely changes its fundamental nature. The contact traveled from his mouth to his spine and out to his limbs. It was a wonderful tingle that spread all the way to his fingertips - and certain other appendages. Severus didn't even consider resisting. He returned the kiss, pulling her to him completely. He tasted the wine on her lips, and had the fuzzy thought that he should drink more often, if this was the result. 

She moved her hand to his shoulder, and the other to the back of his head. In a way, her touching his hair was more surprising than having her tongue in his mouth. No one ever touched his hair. Severus' hands didn't want to rest in one spot, moving from her waist to her shoulders and down her arms. When they both needed to breathe he moved his attention to her neck, eliciting exquisite little sounds from her.

Hermione ran her hands from his head to his shoulders and chest, moving in a rhythmic pawing in time with her breathing. His traitorous hands kept trying to slip under the hem of her jumper, but with some effort he was able to keep them strictly above her waist. Then she grabbed one of his hands and moved it to her chest. _Well, alright then._

They went on like that, lost in each other's touch and oblivious to the outside world, until she finally slid out of his lap and pulled him up, leading him by the hand to the door. They separated as soon as they were in the hall, but there was no one around. The lack of loud singing and laughter indicated the others had gone to sleep. 

Hermione moved towards the stairs and gestured silently for him to follow, but Severus shook his head. “We should both get some sleep,” he whispered, ignoring how her face fell. “Goodnight, Miss Granger,” he added, giving her a bow and turning to leave before he had a chance to talk himself into following her up the stairs.

Severus didn't claim any high moral standing for ending it there. He didn't care that she was weeks out from being his student, or that they would likely soon be working together. He didn't care that they were in the Black family house - if anything that was an incentive. He didn't even remember at the time that she was twenty years younger than him. 

He stopped it because she was drunk, and he was certain a sober Hermione Granger would never have touched Severus Snape. She was undoubtedly just lonely. Two of her friends were getting married. She had something with the Weasley boy right after the war, but that ended sometime in the last school year. Severus was many things, but taking advantage of an inebriated girl’s bad decision making was not one of them. 

At least, not any more than he already had.


	2. Chapter 2

Severus had to place the blame for the second time on goblins, of all things. There was another Order meeting the following Wednesday, this time without a drunken follow up party. The lack of whispers or suspicious glances confirmed they weren't spotted by anyone the week before.

He managed to avoid speaking to Hermione until the meeting wound down, when a group got in a conversation about goblin rights. She took the predictable side of righteous defender. Initially, there were more participants in the conversation, but they slowly trickled out, leaving the debate to Severus and Hermione. Potter interrupted to say it was time to head back to the Burrow. 

"Actually, I'm going back home tonight, so I'll see you next week," Hermione told him. "I can close up the wards if you like." 

Potter thanked her and there was a round of hugging before the boy and his girlfriend finally left. A group of red heads were still chatting at the table. Severus was seated on a couch across from the fire. He was about to get up and slip out when Hermione sat down on the other end of it and they went straight back into their goblin debate. 

In retrospect, the second time was probably more the fault of unresolved sexual tension than goblins. He did not care a whit about her opinion on the greedy creatures, but at the time it seemed extremely annoying that she would not accept that they didn't _want_ to integrate into wizard society. He tried to make her see that what they really wanted was to keep wizards out of their business, and the social separation helped protect that. 

"That's absurd!" Hermione retorted. "If they really want separation, why would they run a bank specifically targeting wizards. It makes them have to interact with us constantly. They would simply avoid us like the centaurs or the giants do.”

“They aren't running Gringotts as a favor, they do it for profit," he replied, as the final red headed stragglers said their goodbyes. He and Hermione were left completely alone, but Severus hardly noticed. "They will take galleons from anyone, it doesn't mean they _like_ or _trust_ them. Wizards are to goblins as muggles are to bigoted pureblood wizards - closer to an animal than an equal. And if you were daft enough to go to the goblins with this, the very fact that you assume they want your acceptance would to them imply your superiority. It would be an insult. If you could get over your sentimental need to save all the ugly creatures you encounter, you would be able to wrap your mind around that.” 

She rolled her eyes. “I'm talking about repression and bias - it's not a specific _ugly creature_ thing.”

“It absolutely is,” he replied flatly. “It's a problem you have.”

“Oh really?" Her eyebrows shot up. "What are all the others then?”

He smirked and counted off on his fingers as he spoke. "House elves, your hideous cat, the werewolf campaign last year, goblins... _me_."

She opened her mouth to protest, but on his last word she snapped it shut and went silent. They both knew he was referring to what she did for him in the Shrieking Shack, staying behind to waste her healing potions on a traitor instead of following Potter back to the battle.

“You're different,” she said quietly, after a pause. 

He raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“You're not ugly.” 

“No one is ugly when you've had enough wine,” he responded coolly. Perhaps they weren't talking about the shack.

"Is that really what you think? That I-" she stopped herself with a huff, and glared at the couch cushion between them with her arms crossed and eyes narrowed for several long moments. Then her features shifted, and she looked at him with a rather Gryffindorish look of determination. 

Hermione slid across the couch, moving until her side touched his and her face was mere inches away from him. "I've not had any wine tonight," she whispered, brown eyes holding his gaze as she moved one hand to his chest.

At her touch, the final ingredient was once again added and whatever they were before was transformed. Severus forgot about goblins and shacks and was only aware of her presence next to him. He felt the warmth of her side against his, and noticed for the first time how her halo of curls glowed in the firelight.

He probably kissed her that time, though it was difficult to remember anything coherently after the fact. What he did recall was having her once again shift into his lap, filling his senses with her scent and taste and warmth. Without the haze of alcohol it was more intense - more real. Her sharp intake of breath when he caught her lip lightly between his teeth. The feel of her rapid pulse under his lips as he kissed her neck, and realizing his own heart was pounding just as fast. And her hair - he couldn't get enough of tangling his fingers in it, or the way it bounced back from his touch. How had he completely missed it the last time?

But when she started unbuttoning his frock coat, Severus put his hands over hers. "Hermione," - he couldn't possibly call her _Miss Granger_ in this position - "we both need to go home before I take you upstairs and do unspeakable things to you."

She froze, her eyes fixed on his hands over hers. "No one will be back here until next week," she said quietly. "I have no intention of leaving, unless you really want me to... _Severus_ ," she glanced at his face. "I’d rather go upstairs and try some of those unspeakable things you're suggesting." 

Her response made him stop breathing. He meant it as a threat, not an invitation. 

A better man would have gone home right then. He would have thought about things like age differences, loneliness, and inappropriate student-professor relationships. Instead, all Severus could think about was endless soft curls, the heat of her body straddling his, the sound of his _name_ on her lips _._

"Are you...quite certain?" he asked, carefully watching her face.

"Yes," she said looking at him, her voice barely more than a breath, "...quite certain."

She got up and took his hand as she had the week before, leading him to the hall. This time, he did follow her up the stairs.

* * *

Severus and Hermione woke up naked in her room at Grimmauld Place. They dealt with the awkwardness of waking up together that way by repeating the act from the night before. Then they had a rather normal and chaste breakfast, chatting about the next school year and her chances of getting the Arithmancy Professor position. 

He assured her that she would, even as the idea of working with her everyday suddenly seemed indecent. Could he possibly be in a room with her without thinking about her soft skin, or the way she had gasped _Severus_ while he was- 

_I will be occluding at every staff meeting from now on,_ he realized _._ Not that there was anything new there. 

It also felt wrong to be alone with her in Potter's house like this, but he couldn't help enjoying how much Sirius Black would have _really_ hated it. Severus returned to Spinner's End that morning feeling as if he'd consumed some wonderful hallucinogenic potion, and throughout the day his thoughts strayed to how he could brew more. 

* * *

The third time was the start of a routine. It was the following week, and Hermione was in the hall alone when Severus arrived at Grimmauld Place. She fell in step with him as they walked to the meeting room. 

"Shall we skip the wine and arguing this time?" she asked as if she were suggesting a variety of tea.

"If you wish," Severus replied just as casually as they walked into the meeting. 

That night he took her to Spinner's End. They did end up having tea, among other things. In the morning, he made breakfast while she marveled at his library. 

Every Wednesday night for the rest of the summer, she spent the night with him. Even when the meetings were decreased to twice a month, she showed up at his house on the off weeks. He knew she was staying with her parents, and suspected that she told them she was staying at the Burrow after a weekly meeting. He never asked - he didn't need to confirm that he was sleeping with someone young enough to be sneaking out of her parents' house.

She began showing up earlier and leaving later. Still, they never saw each other outside of Order meetings and Spinner's End. It was not a relationship. They never went out in public, or gave any sign of their liaison in front of others. Even when they were alone at his house, there were no secret promises or even words of affection. They were either completely physically lost in each other or in his sitting room, a pot of tea getting cold while they read in mutual silence for hours. It was nice.

They would talk too, usually in the mornings. She was fascinated with spell creation, a subject so challenging most wizards couldn't even grasp the basic theory, let alone practice it. It was barely even touched on in school, because so few would ever use it and because mistakes could be catastrophic. But Hermione Granger had already moved beyond the basics. She asked about how he managed to create his own spells when he was still a teenager, how he tested and came up with the counter spells without being detected by professors or severely injuring someone. He mostly told her the truth. And that was nice too. 

The only time they spoke about what was happening between them was after she was formally awarded the Arithmancy Professor position. They agreed that they would end their encounters when they both returned to Hogwarts. They would be colleagues, in too close of quarters to go unnoticed. 

Severus also told her they shouldn’t appear too friendly - it would draw too much attention if the golden girl was suddenly close to a man much of the wizarding world still instinctively didn’t trust. He also knew his colleagues had nothing better to do then speculate about each other's private lives. Hooch alone would have a field day if he so much as walked down the hall with Hermione. Severus told himself that there was a freedom in knowing it was all temporary, and he generally tried not to think about it. 

When September came, they successfully avoided each other - not seeking each other out or lingering to talk in the staff room. They would talk, but they kept their interactions formal. She chatted with her friends at meetings and he left as soon as they were over. On the occasions when they made eye contact, they both quickly looked away. No one would have guessed the hours they spent together in the summer, or how he was aware of her every word and movement when she was in the room. 

Whenever he thought about Hermione, Severus reminded himself that it was good to have a reason to end it. She would have grown tired of him soon enough. He was like a dangerous banned book she was reading and rereading until the novelty wore off. Once she was busy again with work and back to socializing with normal people, she would have gotten bored with him soon enough. This way he didn't suffer the indignity of an awkward conversation where she told him she wouldn't be returning to his bed. 

Then one evening in mid-October, Hermione visited his office to ask if he had a copy of an article she wanted for a research paper. Of course he did, and he invited her to his quarters to retrieve it. It was the first time they were alone together since the summer, and they slipped easily into the routine of their Wednesday evenings at Spinner’s End. They had tea, among other things. She slipped out of his bed to return to her own sometime before the sun came up.

And that became the new routine. She would come to him in the late evening a few times a week, and slip out in the middle of the night. As a precaution they became even more distant in mixed company. She didn't sit by him. He didn’t respond to her comments at meetings. If anything the staff thought they disliked each other. 

Then came the winter holidays. Hermione had already set up before school started to spend half of them with her parents, and the other half at the Burrow. She made a point of telling him that, and he assured her that he fully expected to spend the time alone. 

And so on the same evening when some moronic Hufflepuff decided he needed to be taller, and Hermione was at the Burrow with her friends, Severus was in the library, enjoying the freedom of having all the books to himself. Pince was away from the castle, and it was after the few remaining students were required to be in their common rooms, so there was no one to bother him. He was not in any way sulking, or avoiding his rooms because they felt terribly empty. Absolutely not.

He heard someone enter, walking straight for where he was seated in a back corner hidden by bookshelves. He stood to see who was coming, and was surprised to see Hermione emerge from the shelves, still in her traveling cloak and wet with little beads of melted snow.

"Miss Granger," he said, more a question than a greeting. She looked worried.

"We're alone, Severus." She held up her right hand that still had her wand out. "I checked."

"Why are you here? What's wrong?"

"Oh, no nothing's wrong," she said too quickly. "I told the Weasleys I had some things to take care of at the castle. And I...I've been thinking...I want to, um," she put her want away and fumbled with her sleeve, then sighed and looked at him. "I wanted to speak with you," she said with a kind of finality.

His insides twisted. Unconsciously, he wrapped his heavy robes around himself like a cloth protego. _Here it comes, the awkward conversation. She's doing it over the holiday when we won't have to see each other for a while._ He had to occlude his thoughts to force his features to remain neutral. 

"I know this was supposed to be temporary," she began, fussing with her sleeves again. "We were supposed to stop after the summer, then we didn't, and now I spend more time with you than anyone else. I never intended-" she huffed, looking at the ceiling as if it could help her. "I don't even know what I intended. But it isn't what I want anymore - the sneaking around, having to drag myself from your side at three am, feeling like I should be charged with a crime for speaking to you - and Merlin forbid I let on that I actually enjoy your company." She raked a nervous hand through her thick curls, and he had the ludicrous thought that he would never touch them again. "I want to be-" she let out a frustrated sigh, then murmured more to herself, "God, relationship sounds like such a silly word..."

Something tightened in his chest, he ignored it. "Hermione," Severus began, "you don't need to keep explaining." _I'd rather you didn't._ "I've always known that eventually you would want to end this and find someone more appropriate for you. I'm only surprised it took this long."

"What?" She stared at him, shaking her head. "I don't want _appropriate_ \- I want you!" 

It was his turn to stare, incredulous, as she seemed to realize what she'd just said. "I don't mean you're not -" she huffed. "Look, I know we'll have to deal with the headmistress. I’ve read the faculty rules and I have a plan. And I know the gossips - both in and outside the castle - will be ready to eat us alive. And I know we will always need to be discreet around students. But I don't think we have to hide out like we're doing something wrong because we _aren't._ And I don't care about the damn gossips," with this she tightened her fingers into fists at her sides and glared at him. 

Her next words tumbled out with increasing speed, "I want to be able to visit you without disillusioning myself. I want to walk to Hogsmeade with you and sit in the library together. I want to stop worrying about keeping the stories straight between what I tell my friends, my parents, and my colleagues about where I am. Or acting like I'm ashamed of being with you because I'm _not_ , Severus. I want to sit next to you at meetings and hear your snarky comments and hold your hand under the table - if you'll let me," with this colored and looked at the floor, continuing more quietly, "I know you're a very private person, and maybe what we've had is really all you ever wanted. But it's not enough for me anymore. And I need to know...what you want."

Severus didn't know how to respond. Occluding kept his mind from processing her words. But when he dropped his shields, it was even worse. He moved towards her, putting his hands tentatively on her shoulders, and they both stood frozen like that, searching each other's faces. For all she could babble at length, Severus couldn’t formulate a single sentence to tell her what he wanted.

So instead, he kissed her. He poured everything he couldn’t say into it, holding her tightly to him, moving with a slow intensity. Hermione seemed to understand, as she responded with the same gravity. 

There was something different from any other time they kissed, something less about hunger and lust, and more about connection. He scooped her up onto a nearby table to save them both the strain of their height difference, and they stared at each other for a long moment, breathing heavily, before their lips connected again. He brought his hands back to the mass of the curls he thought he’d lost, as she bunched the heavy material at the back of his robes in her fingers. They were both completely unaware of the world around them, to the point they didn’t realize when they were no longer alone.

“Oh!” came a shout with a terribly familiar Scottish brogue. Severus and Hermione immediately separated, but the look on Minerva’s face made it clear she saw exactly what they were doing.

“Uh...good evening...Headmistress,” Hermione stammered. It sounded like she was speaking to the floor, but Severus couldn’t be certain as he was looking everywhere but the girl he’d just been caught snogging. 

“Well...yes,” Minerva responded in a higher than normal voice, her eyes darting quickly between the two of them. “I was looking for you, Severus, because Mr. Collins and Mr. Andrews never returned to their common room this evening. I was hoping you could search the dungeons.” 

Severus nodded. “Yes, of course.”

“Hermione,” she went on, finding slightly more control in her voice. “I didn’t know you were in the castle, but perhaps you could finish checking the library, then assist Pomona on the third floor.”

“Yes..um..yes. Absolutely, yes Min- uh, Headmistress,” Hermione responded with an awkwardness that made Severus cringe.

Knowing his presence only made things worse, he turned to head for the door. Severus forced himself not to speed up when he heard Minerva following him out. 

Fortunately, she turned in the opposite direction of the dungeons when they left the library, leaving him to head down to search for the two students who would greatly regret their little adventure if he was the one to find them. 


	3. Chapter 3

Back in the Headmistress's office, Severus stood at the window overlooking the black outline of the lake. Upon seeing Minerva's face in the library, he knew a public relationship with Hermione was a terrible idea. Her friends would be horrified. It would destroy her reputation. Some witch like Skeeter would pen articles _strongly_ implying the relationship started when Hermione was still his student. Her outstanding grades would be called into question. The staff would collectively throw him off the Astronomy Tower. _Well, they would try._

Thinking back on the events that led up to that evening, Severus realized he had let himself get distracted with a stupid hope for something that a man like him did not deserve. Tonight, without words, he promised her something that would only do her harm. But how could he look her in the eyes and tell her it was over, after everything she said to him? Either he broke her heart - and his own if he was honest - or he let her be publicly humiliated. 

Being thrown off the Astronomy Tower was beginning to sound like the best possible solution.

Minerva entered her office with apologies. Apparently, his long wait was not her intention. The dimwitted Hufflepuff boy's mother showed up and was in hysterics because it was somehow the school's fault her son was too stupid to correct a poorly cast transfiguration, and he had instead made his condition worse with the help of his dunderhead friend. 

As Headmistress, Minerva had to stay and help Pomona do damage control, while Poppy worked on bringing the imbecile back to his original size. 

Severus did not miss being Headmaster.

"Let's go to my sitting room," Minerva said with a glance at the portraits, and Severus gave her a grateful nod. Her sitting room was private, which meant they at least would not have a canvas audience. He felt an added wave of gratitude when he remembered his fear that Hermione would be there. Unless of course, Minerva was so upset she simply didn't want any witnesses when she lost her temper. His stomach tightened.

When they were seated, Minerva was the first to speak, "I confess, I'm not really sure how to proceed. Normally I would take away house points and give detention, but that hardly seems appropriate given both of you are professors at this school." Her face was pinched, but there was a hint of mischief in her eyes.

Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. She wasn't upset, she was entertaining herself. 

It was so much worse.

Minerva leaned forward in her chair and looked at him more seriously. "Severus, I have to ask, are you and Hermione... _involved_? I mean...outside of what I saw tonight."

"Yes," he said simply, because any other answer seemed ridiculous.

"When did it start?"

"Last summer."

Her eyebrows rose and she straightened. "Really? I was under the impression that you didn't even get along," she said, surprised. After a moment's thought, she added, "I take it that was a bit of an act."

"It was," he conceded.

"Well," she leaned back in her chair. "This is good then. It makes things easier."

Severus raised an eyebrow, shaking his head. "Good? How so?"

"If it were before summer she was technically still a student, even if she was making up her seventh year - and more capable a witch than most people twice her age. But still, it would look rather inappropriate. If it were after this year started, it could work, but it would be more complicated with you both being staff. If you had told me any other time, I might have suggested you amend your story to say summer for the sake of propriety."

"Seriously?" Severus stared at the Headmistress. "You're alright with this? I thought you would want to throw me off the Astronomy Tower."

She winced at the reference. "Severus," she spoke gently, "you were terribly used in the war. Effectively yes, but all the more to your detriment. While you certainly are greatly improved since Riddle's death, it's only in these last few months you've seemed..." she thought for a moment, "...markedly less miserable. I think now I know why," she added with a knowing smile. Her look gave him an uncomfortably familiar feeling, like being the boy who once sat in her classroom.

"What I am suggesting," she went on, "is that you find a way to come out in the open with it - before someone less discreet finds out. The papers will have a field day no matter what, but if you come out on your own - and I make it clear to anyone who asks that Hogwarts had full knowledge, and in a sense you have my blessing - it won't be nearly as sensational. But if someone, a castle ghost - or Merlin forbid a student - were to see anything between you, rumors will spread that are substantially worse than reality. At that point it may be impossible to undo the damage."

"We were actually just discussing tonight," Severus said, straightening his sleeves so he didn't have to look at her, "the possibility of not being so secretive."

"Oh, a discussion?" Her eyebrows raised and she smirked. "Is that what you were having?"

Severus sighed. _So much worse._ "Minerva," he began. "It doesn't matter how it's presented. The papers will rake her over the coals. They'll imply her grades and position with the school were achieved through unsavory means. The public will question _your_ judgement and pressure you to fire me, if not both of us."

"You're right, the papers will talk, Severus. But the sensation will flare up and die down like it always does. Anyone who has met Hermione knows the grading scale doesn't go high enough to measure her abilities. There will be no doubt she earned her position, to anyone who matters."

Severus shook his head. "Even if you set aside the sodding papers, I am no good for her. I'm a bitter old man with a faded dark mark who barely escaped Azkaban. I'll be 40 years old next month, Minerva _, literally_ twice her age. She will grow tired of me, and find someone her own age who is capable of being _nice_. But she will forever carry the stain of her foolish association with me."

"Severus," she spoke softly, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees and looking him straight in the eye, in that way that made him feel like a child. "You care for her, don't you?"

"More than anyone," he said too quickly, with an honesty that hurt. 

She looked at him for a long moment and nodded before responding. "Hermione Granger is no fool. She is one of the most brilliant people I've ever had the pleasure of teaching," she said, adding with a small smirk, "so were you. You both have stunning innate magical abilities. You both consume books like oxygen. I expected you two would get on well, if she could break through your prickliness. It appears I was not wrong. I'm sure she knows very well by now what a grump you are, and if you haven't scared her off yet, I doubt you can. We Gryffindors can be quite stubborn."

"You're having entirely too much fun with this, Minerva."

She beamed. "I must admit I'm more than a little pleased that one of my house broke through your defenses." 

At least she didn't say _again_.

"But it's a decision the two of you must make," she went on, "and I agree it should not be taken lightly. I would like very much to see both of you happy, but only you and Hermione know what that looks like. All I am saying is I will support you if you choose to go public, and I think it's a bad idea to keep it secret. As long as you both conduct yourselves with more discretion than you showed tonight, I won't bring it again." 

* * *

When Severus left the Headmistress's office, it was after midnight. He went straight to his rooms, and was not surprised to find a very nervous Hermione waiting in a chair next to his fireplace. She immediately stood, but he motioned for her to sit back down as he took the chair opposite. He explained briefly that he was meeting with Minerva, and why it took so long.

"So what is she going to do? About, um...about what happened?" Hermione asked anxiously.

"She took away house points and gave us both a month of detention," he replied coolly.

"What? That's not fair! She shouldn't-" Hermione cut herself off, glaring at him. "She did not say that."

"Technically, she did," he countered with a smirk, "when she said that is what she would normally do in the circumstances. What she did say was that the fact that we began our relationship," - Hermione gave a small smile at his use of the word - "in the summer made things less complicated." 

"Oh! That was my plan," she said, excited. "According to the Hogwarts staff rulebook a pre-existing relationship between faculty members is not a violation of protocol. We just needed to say we were keeping it private until the right time."

"Of course, you had it all figured out," he said, his smirk feeling too much like a real smile.

But he was getting carried away. This was not the conversation they needed to have right now. He steeled himself. "She just said to behave ourselves in the future," he explained, then added with some reluctance, "and that she would support us if we chose to be out in the open. But Hermione, this is a terrible idea. It's not just about the gossips and the papers. Your friends will think you've been cursed or dosed with a love potion."

She chuckled and shook her head, "You may not all be best mates, but they respect and trust you enough to know you'd never do something like that. And anyway, I already told Harry and Ron before I came here tonight."

That caught him off guard. "Seriously? Why? I'm surprised they aren't already here to arrest me," he said, glancing around as if he expected Aurors to burst in through the door.

She rolled her eyes. "They can't arrest you, we're not doing anything _illegal_ , Severus."

_Astronomy Tower it is then._

"As for why," she went on, "I told them because I wanted you to know that I am serious about not being afraid to tell anyone."

"How did they take it?" he asked, because he couldn't help himself.

"Well... it's hard to say," she said hesitantly. 

He raised an eyebrow. "That's not a very promising answer."

Hermione put a hand on her forehead. "The thing is, Ginny was there - I knew Harry would just tell her anyway - and since she is assertive and used to dealing with masculine overprotectiveness I thought her presence would help. But when I told them Ginny immediately said- um...well, I probably shouldn't repeat it." She avoided his gaze and Severus waited, knowing Hermione wouldn't be able to resist filling the silence. 

"Let's just say, she uh...she said something about, um...your skill level...being high...because your experience probably goes back longer than any of us have been alive...which naturally made the boys rather uncomfortable. So then they were mostly upset with Ginny and forgot I was even there."

_I should send Ginevra an anonymous gift._

"I don't understand," he said, his face a mask of innocence. "Why would they be upset with her?" 

"Well," Hermione carefully explained, fidgeting with her sleeves, "I imagine Harry didn't like hearing his girlfriend talk about the prowess of another man, and Ron doesn't like hearing her talk about sex in gen-" Hermione cut herself off when she realized his was grinning. "You arse! You know perfectly well-" she crossed her arms and gave him a scowl that was ruined by her trying not to smile. It was a look he particularly enjoyed.

 _More than anyone._

The admission Severus made earlier to Minerva came back, unbidden. He was once so sure he could remain detached, but he never really had a chance. Here sat this lovely, clever, gifted witch who was entirely too good for him. It was obvious, now that he allowed himself to see it, that he was completely besotted with her. Severus was no stranger to caring deeply, but he never experienced having those feelings returned. Now here was a woman ready to risk her reputation and friendships on a desire to be with him. It was bloody terrifying. 

But for the first time that night, he knew what he needed to do.

"Severus?" she asked, pulling him out if his reverie.

He looked up. "Are you planning on staying at the castle tomorrow?" he asked. 

"I can," she answered, with a questioning tilt of her head.

"Would you like to walk into Hogsmeade?"

"Together? In public?" She sat up, surprised.

"Perhaps we could have lunch," he said, then leaned forward and added in a whisper, "I might even let you hold my hand under the table."

* * *

Over the rest of the holiday break, their walks into Hogsmeade - and even the one the trip to Diagon Alley - failed to cause an immediate national scandal. Although they probably went unnoticed in London because they spent the entire time perusing the shelves of Flourish and Blotts, Hermione declaring this was the first time she ever came to the bookstore with someone who wasn't ready to leave after just half an hour.

As the winter holidays came to a close, the Hogwarts staff also remained mostly oblivious. Professor Sinistra did give Severus an odd look after she spotted him leaving Hermione's rooms one morning. And Poppy flashed him a knowing smile when she passed him walking with Hermione in the hall. But the mob had yet to assemble with their pitchforks when the first staff meeting of the new term came in early January. 

It was the day before classes resumed, and the meeting was the first time the entire staff had come together since the holidays. McGonagall had to leave as soon as the meeting was over to check on the status of late returning students. Those remaining were inclined to linger and chat. All except for Severus, who rose from his seat next to Hermione - she was engaged in an entirely uninteresting conversation with Flitwick - intent on escaping before someone trapped him in a horrid round of small talk. 

He made it away from the others and was almost to the door on the other end of the room when he was cut off by the flying instructor, Madam Hooch.

"You feeling okay, Snape?" she asked in a low voice of mock concern, her yellow eyes scanning up and down his black form as if she were checking for injuries. 

"I _was_ ," he said with a deliberate glance at the door. 

"Because," she went on like he hadn't spoken, "you just sat next to Granger - on purpose - and talked to her for the whole meeting. I even saw you _smile_ , Snape. You never smile."

Severus blinked and feigned a moment of thought, glad they were out of earshot of the others. He knew this was coming, and he needed to be careful how he reacted. "And that makes you assume I am ill?"

"Oh come on," she said, putting her hands on her hips, "you normally sit there brooding and looking bored the whole time. Now I come back from hols and find you and Granger whispering like best friends and Merlin knows _what_ you were doing under the table to make her smile that much - yes, I noticed - I can only assume she managed to slip you something."

Severus crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. While Hooch was clearly just out to tease him, he was still offended that she would suggest it was possible to dose a Potions master.

He raised an eyebrow. "What exactly would Granger want to _dose_ me with?"

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed," Hooch said with a smirk. "The girl's been keen on you all year - I've been meaning to ask Poppy to check her for head injuries - but until now you've avoided her like dragon pox. Obviously something's happened to you."

"Now Rolanda," Severus said in a corrective tone, "jealousy is not a trait becoming on a woman your age." 

Hooch narrowed her eyes, her mouth twisted in something between delight and anger. "You son of a- Granger!" She abruptly turned to Hermione, who had just gotten up from her seat and was approaching them. "How did you get the potion in Snape's drink without him noticing?"

Hermione blinked for a moment as she tried to catch up to the conversation. "I think it's highly unlikely anyone could put something in Professor Snape's drink without him knowing," she said, causing Severus to smile. 

"There!" Hooch grinned and pointed an accusing digit at his face. "You are _clearly_ on something."

"I suppose she does sometimes have our tea ready when I wake up in the morning," he said thoughtfully.

Hermione looked scandalized for a moment, before she caught on, turning to Hooch. "I have to get up extra early to beat him to it. Then I use something floral so he won't pick up on the off smell."

"I always notice," Severus told Hooch. "I just don't say anything."

"And here I thought I was so clever," Hermione said with a mock pout, bumping his arm with her shoulder.

Hooch darted her eyes between them, open mouthed, clearly unsure what she had stumbled onto. "You two- that's...I can't," she flummoxed, shaking her head until she finally threw both hands up in defeat. "I'm done. I hope you two lovebirds are very happy together." 

This last comment was loud enough that most of the people in the room were now staring at them. Poppy was beaming. Sinistra was looking at Sprout with her eyebrows raised, as if to say _told you_. Flitwick and Hagrid just looked confused. Hermione's cheeks flushed as she slowly shifted away from his side. 

Severus acted as if he noticed none of this. He caught Hermione's eye and gestured towards the door. "Tea?" he asked. 

She could only nod in reply. Severus held the door open for her, closing it behind himself without a second glance at the awkwardly silent room. 

When they got a few steps down the hall Hermione stopped. "I can't believe we just did that," she said, looking a bit dazed.

"It's what you wanted isn't it?" Severus asked. "Or would you rather I go back and obliviate them all?"

She shook her head and tried to glare at him while smiling. "No, but let's go before Hagrid figures it out and comes out here to hug us."

"Indeed," he replied, and they both walked swiftly down the corridor. They went back to Severus' rooms, and they did end up having tea, among other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They really like their tea. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. This is my first story. Please take a moment to let me know what you liked, and how I can do better. 


End file.
